“I’m a smart girl! I can figure it out!” My (almost) 4 year old daughter proudly exclaimed over and over, as she ran up and down the sidewalk. We had been out for a stroll, and a parked car blocked our path. “Oh no Mommy, what will we do?” she asked. Continue reading
“I had the privilege of knowing him for over 30 years, and never heard him say a harsh or critical word about anyone.” It has been several weeks since I read these words written about the grandfather of a friend(s) who recently passed. Yet I cannot get them out of mind, and I find myself pondering them repeatedly.
I am not so naïve as to believe that in 30 years he never, ever, ever failed in this regard. Of course he did, we have all fallen short. But for a PRIEST to say those words about him - means he had to have many more successes than failures in this regard.
I am so far from being like that. Often I cannot go even an hour, let alone a day without at least thinking a harsh or critical word. To go 30 years? That has never even entered my mind as a possibility.
Yet in that moment when I first read it, I find myself longing for more. ”I want people to be able to say the same about me when I pass.” Even more - I want to be like that on the inside too, to not even THINK harsh or critical words.
I do not for one second believe that he became that way by “accident”, or that it just came ”naturally”. I know that he fought to become that way. It came from a life time of living out his faith. Through prayer, reading the Word, praising in all circumstances, dying to self – seeking and seeking and seeking more of God.
But these words give me HOPE.
Hope that God can change me.
Hope that that God can take this life of mine and make it what He wants it to be.
Hope that one day that I will be transformed - my mind renewed, my tongue bridled.
His call to me to: “Seek peace and pursue it.” (Psalm 34:14b)
I press on towards the prize.
My heart sings.
I mostly write about things that I have worked through already. Partly because I do not like sharing my imperfections with the whole world, but mostly because it is harder to articulate when you are working things through.
When God works on something in me, it does not tend to be one big bang – but rather months, even years of meditating on His word, seeking His face, sorting through what He is trying to teach me. Continue reading
For as long as I remember the daily disciplines of personal prayer and exercising have been a struggle. After many years, I am finally at a place where I pray almost daily. So I decided to take what I learned to help me develop the Prayer Habit, and use it to develop the Exercise Habit. Continue reading
Last summer I spent 4 hours at the hospital visting doctors, I brought my 6 year old along. This is the day through his eyes: Continue reading
I have been working to root out anger. But not all anger is bad. Sometimes there is Righteous Anger. What is Righteous Anger? Righteous Anger is what you feel when you are faced with sin, with evil. While Righteous Anger may spur you to action, it is not a permit to retaliate with evil. For example, I felt Righteous Anger after I saw what happened at 9/11, Sandy Hook, and the Boston Marathon. But it would not be right to personally retaliate, that would be the sinful form of anger, rather we need to let the courts decide and continue to love our neighbors, no matter their race. Here are some new stories from the last 30 days that brought this home for me: Continue reading
During my years as a teacher, I was 100% passionate about my students. I wanted every child to succeed, and I would not accept anything but their best. Despite that, I was a horrible teacher. Now I realize that it was because I did not know how to choose my battles. I fought every single one. Consequently, I burned out after three years. Continue reading
An airplane ride to work, a race, a sleepy school in Sandy Hook, date night at the movies. Is no where safe? But hear this – I REFUSE TO LIVE MY LIFE IN FEAR. When you give into the fear, the worry, the anxiety – then it wins. And we were meant for so much more. We were meant to:
BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS.
“So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:6. Continue reading
May they have gone too far.
Lord, let this be it.
May this be the event that makes people see evil for what it is.
Lord, let this be it. Continue reading
Everything is urgent. Everyone demands my time. After working all day, I go home to three young kids, a husband, and house full of chores to complete. It would be easy, even understandable, for me to be stressed out. But amazingly, I am not. I have chosen to: